Partying: Pastime of dumbasses.

I spent the whole weekend getting my brains indirectly smashed by a speedboat. I just spent the last two and a half hours at a lab meeting where big science-y words were used to evilly put me to sleep. This morning, two dumbass high school (ugly Asian girls, one hugely overweight) geeks were talking very loudly behind me about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; so loudly in fact, that I could not read the blabber in the Metro. My brain is at maybe one tenth capacity. I am extremely irritable. So this will be a good old-fashioned rant.

I hate people who drink. Why? I don't have anything against drinking in itself, though drinking way too much will have serious consequences on your life and others. You may become a big moron and you may become a lethal in a car. That sucks for everyone. No one wants to see you be a moron, and no one wants to die because you suck at life.

Mostly, I hate teenagers and college kids who "party." "Partying" is the lowest form of existence. If scenes in life were appliances, partying would be a giant toilet filled with a conglomerate of people's vomit and excrements. I think it has something to do with my disdain for youth culture. If I could blow up MTV with my mind, it would be all sorts of blown up right now. They would think it was terrorists or something. But it's not. It's me no longer wanting them to perpetuate an image that drinking and being a big fat whore is cool.

People who go to parties usually are not smart. If they get good grades, it is because they're either cheaters or they work way too hard. They are not smart because they are at the party which is the virtual watering hole of all dumb things in the universe. These things are so dumb that they attempt to drink from the hole with their ass instead of their mouth. I am so fucking straight-edge because I hate my peers with an immense passion.

Do I even have to mention the vanity? No one gives a fuck if you are blond, skinny, and have a pair of plastic DD's. Your brain is the size of a peanut. In another five years, you will be a crackwhore pimped out by some guy named SlyBone. I would not trust my ass or my crack with a guy named SlyBone. He is also surely a dumbass.

Party people eventually go on to run big corporations and become presidents and stuff. Bushy-fluffy-pants was once a big partying who was too hung over to fly a plane during Vietnam. That is one fucking serious partier. Now he runs the nation as his brain is still gasping for air from years of drowning it in cheap alcohol. I am so at ease now that he is the representative of this country. How appropriate.

I hope everyone who parties dies horribly of alcohol poisoning. That would be fun. Maybe then I won't be so angry anymore. No... no... That will never work. There's always those people who make wake in a no wake zone because they don't give a fuck if their beach house gets washed away by the ocean.

Listen, kids. If you can't have fun without alcohol then you're a big, boring piece of crap and you should not be alive.

The end.