Jesus is my what?

The fact of the matter is that I have four hours to kill because my stock of cells got contaminated (not by me), and now I have nothing to do experiments with. I have to wait till next week for the cells to grow and split and grow. The scientific world, as always, is running like clockwork. Every day I feel a little closer to explaining the inexplicable nature of life even though my results from Tuesday were really weird.

Now I am desperately seeking some simple information on anisomycin that could possibly help me. That is not going so well, or maybe too well. And since no one reads this anyway, I think I'll tell you why I think Christian people are so creepy.

I don't think all Christian people are creepy. The secular ones aren't so bad, just like secular Jews are cool. But then you have the hardcore go-to-church-every-Sunday types who strictly follow some kind of prescribed morals. They freak the hell out of me (no pun intended). I mean, come on, religion should be an obligation that no one wants to act upon willingly, or at least without a bout of complaints. Sure, you can love God all you want, but God's more like a teacher; you do as much work or get in as much trouble as you know you can get away with without being yelled at, suspended, or, ultimately, expelled (to Hell). Sometimes, you do something wrong, and the teacher gets mad, but she'll forgive you because you're just a stupid kid. A normal kid would be as described. Only the creepy little annoying suck-ups fawn over the teacher and do extra homework. Those are the ones who are tattle-tales and apple-polishers. Derogatory.

I have Christian friends. A lot of church-ish people helped my family back when we were literally destitute. Christians are nice peoples... when they want to be.

Then again, there are those crazy Christian people who want to impose some sort of weird morals on the world like we should all be happy drones who never do wrong. Of course, we should all accept Jesus Christ as our savior for such and such reasons. I saw The Passion of Christ. Please, no need to shout. I get it. You love him because he did all this stuff to save your souls. Okay, but I don't think my soul needs saving. I don't want to be given props for being a good person; I want to be given props for doing well on a test, for baking awesome brownies, for brushing the cat, but not because I'm making the right decisions in regards to morality. Right or wrong, I don't need some book to tell me what's the right way to act. As for gay marriage, go for it. Marry a couch for all I care. There's no integrity to a word. A word is fabricated. Make it anything you want it to be.

What's the deal with not wanting to find out how the world work? What have you people got against science? I don't see you complaining about science when it's all going around curing your diseases. But as soon as one atom bomb drops or something, you denounce it. Hey, you win some, you lose some. If you're going to whine about stem cell research and how science is messing with your morals, then get off the penicillin and walk off your own damn infections. Who needs cancer treatment when you have God? No need for an abortion because God stopped you from having premarital sex. Yes... that is so realistic.

And it's a little offensive. I don't think my people took it so well when you tried to convert us. How do you expect to get along with the rest of the world when you're all about your God? We, the heathens, don't take it well when you call us heathens and look down on us. Let's just keep religion out of our diplomatic dealings.

Really, there's a need for some sort of eternal hope in the afterlife and in a greater being. God's nice and all, but please stop smoking the Bible to get high off Christian morals. Look, here's the deal: When the chemotherapy and double mastectomy fail, then you can turn to God as your last resort. I seriously would not advise prayer as treatment for cancer. Seriously.