The plight of the blind boater.

I have learned something very important this weekend: We have to seriously start rallying for the rights of blind boaters everywhere. After years of movements to eliminate the discrimination of people based on their physical disabilities, I am surprised -- no, shocked and appalled that no one has yet spoken up for the everyday blind boater.

Various other physically decapacitated boaters have been spoken for, such as this deaf boater, who ironically takes a cruel stab at those who are visually challenged. The ability to see clearly does not jeopardize a person's ability to skillfully operate a vehicle. Frankly, his blindness makes his other senses keener, and his intuition for suitable for the complex sport of boating. Sure, many of you may argue that a blind man cannot see where he is going and will eventually crash into a boat or hurt someone. I have the solution.

Two entries ago, I discussed the acute intelligence of the average dolphin. Clearly, they are far more intelligent than a dog, so why not train a new breed of seeing eye dolphins? This would represent a tremendous milestone in the struggle for blind boater's rights. Furthermore, these hooligan dolphins will finally be gainfully employed like model citizens should be.

Next stop: Teaching seeing eye dogs how to drive.